Posts by Cottage Cheese Archives - Page 2 of 2 - Mermaid Cottages on Tybee Island, GA

COTTAGE CHEESE:Working The Mask

Leave a Comment / Posts by Cottage Cheese / Diane Kaufman

It’s MARDI GRAS TYBEE, Ya’ll!

All the time I hear people say, “I’m coming out from behind the mask” or “I’m lifting the veil and letting it all hang out” and “I’m out in the open without a mask”.

Not me. I’d rather wear a mask every day. For some of us, meaning mainly MOI, its gets tough to hide our emotions or put on a brave face or remain stoic amidst adversity or when people shock us. Such is life.

I’ve lead training, made speeches, championed causes and performed all of my life. I’ve also worked undercover, conducted investigations, dealt with crime and corruption and all the deadly sins at one time or another. And, lived to tell about it.

But, you gotta admit. There’s something magical about wearing a mask. For me, it’s just that little bit of buffer between me and the real world that helps me rise to the situation at hand. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that I’m also prone to conjuring up various fantasies when I need to be “ON”.

The real me gets shocked easily and the older I get (I can’t say I’ve gotten all the more wiser) the harder it is for me to maintain my composure and not look shocked, scared, confused, dazed, aghast and yes, even like someone has licked all the red off my apple. But, even when I’m perturbed it doesn’t carry much weight. I just can’t pull off menacing or ruthless or intimidating. I’m a perennial Buckwheat. Invade my personal space and my locks stand on in, my eyes bug out and my mouth flies open.

So, I’m all about the masks. Cover up most of my goofiness and I can concentrate on keeping my eyes from opening too wide and wrench my mouth closed. A Mardi Gras mask means I can convince myself I was an Italian gigolo in a past life. I can be part of the “in-crowd” when in costume. The noise from the celebration also masks my shrieks when something shocks me. I’m really under cover!

Thus, thank goodness for the folks at Tybee Fest and Mardi Gras Tybee! Can’t we make it a year round celebration? Fortunately, the Tybee Irish Heritage Celebration is next and maybe that will hold me over until the next Pirate Fest. Or else, I’ll just have to become a costumed comic book character. Either way, I’ll fit right in on Tybee Island. Quirky works on Tybee. It’s good, right?

AIYEEE!

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COTTAGE CHEESE.The Oops Club

1 Comment / Posts by Cottage Cheese / Diane Kaufman

I called my auto insurance company yesterday to check some details. “Oh, hi! I see you’ve been a member of our insurance team since 2000”, chirped the cheery voice on the other end of the phone.

I needed a new yard rake so I whipped out my well worn home supply card only to hear the clerk inform me, “You’ve gotten all the good out of this card. Let me help you order a new one. You’ve been with us since 1990, so you deserve another.”

Later, the phone rang and against my better judgement I answered it instead of letting it go to voicemail. “Hey, haven’t seen you at the gym lately. Your membership is paid, but we don’t ever see you!”

Memberships. Keeping tabs. A record of my behavior, good and bad. It’s all out there.

It started me thinking. What had been my longest membership? It didn’t take long for one affiliation to stand out. The Oops Club! Oops, I was talking with my hands and spilled my soda. Oops, I was talking instead of looking where I was going and stepped in something yucky. Oops, I climbed on top of my dad’s tractor, unscrewed the gas cap, laid on top of the gas tank and sniffed it until I fell off. Oops, still groggy I somehow decided the tractor needed to be personalized, so I took a nail and scratched my dad’s name in the paint. Oops, indeed. The Oops Club. Lifetime member.

I guess my Oops track record explains my fascination with how well some folks can keep things looking so nice! How do you make a home look so clean and nice and well kept despite kids, pets, slovenly spouses and house guests? And, what about the sun, sand, hilarity and the it’s not mine, so what do I care vacation rental contingent?

It’s magic. Mermaid Magic. A couple of really impressive secrets I’ve observed during my trips to Mermaid Cottages and Tybee Island…slip covers and quality upholstery fabrics keep even the highest traffic areas looking clean and beautiful. That and a team of the best house managers on the beat! No matter what Oops happens the Mermaid Cottages team has a remedy for it.

No Oops here. Just Oohs and Ahs!

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COTTAGE CHEESE:How You Gonna Keep Em Down On The Farm?

3 Comments / Posts by Cottage Cheese / Diane Kaufman

How you gonna keep em down on the farm, after they’ve seen the Tybee Community Garden?

Of the many wonderful things I’ve experienced on Tybee Island, I can’t get enough of this incredible community project known as the Tybee Community Garden! It’s located between the YMCA and the Old School and it’s already producing harvests year round!

Individual plots are 4 x 8 ft spaces that rent for $50 and there is a communal space, as well. The garden is remarkable to me in that it is self sustaining. Particpants and partners gather rain water and condensation from around the island to water the plants. No city resources are used! There’s even a compost area that will soon provide the necessary nutrients to amend the soil for future crops!

Currently, the garden is for individul consumption and swapping, but eventually it will mature into a local market with fresh vegetables for sale. The garden can always use more garden hoses, rain barrels, fruit trees and wood for staking tomatoes and new members are also welcome so long as vacant plots are available.

Got any heirloom varieties you’d like to share with the garden? Contact Karen Kelly at 912 786 9719 or at karenontybee@aol.com.

It’s about honoring your green thumb! It’s about developing a community resource! It’s about casting your seeds and sowing them with kindness to reap many delicious rewards to come! And, it all goes great with COTTAGE CHEESE!

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Cottage Cheese:Right Up There With Elizabeth Taylor

Leave a Comment / Posts by Cottage Cheese / Diane Kaufman

Life is what happens when you’ve made other plans.

Just before Christmas I had planned to be back on Tybee to tour some new cottages that are being added to the Mermaid Cottages collection, enjoy more wonderful meals at my favorite Tybee restaurants, get some new Flip Cam video footage and launch my new Blog series, “101 Ways to get Tybee-ized”. That was the plan.

But then, I saw on a weather report we were to have a White Christmas in Atlanta. The forecast was for the temperature to remain above freezing which meant we would be having the perfect kind of snow. Moist, flaky, gleaming white with no ice. How could I resist. Boy Howdy. A White Christmas.

That was until Christmas night, less than a mile from my home, when a driver coming the opposite way lost control of her car and slid broadside into our beloved red convertible. It was one of those moments when you know something is about to happen. You see it coming towards you in slow motion. The thought flashes in your mind, “I should have gone to Tybee like I planned”.

Well, it’s now been a few weeks and the insurance company has finally made the decision to total the car. In the meantime, we got hit with another massive snow storm, except this was not the good snow. This was heavy snow with ice mixed in and the temperatures stayed below freezing. Tybee seemed a million miles away and just a memory.

To top it off, my three favorite souls on this earth, my dogs, decided that since we were all housebound they would become possessed by Lucifer and re-enact THE EXORCIST room by room…for three straight days…It was Satan’s Spawn, The Demon Seed and Cujo and me. And, when did someone rearrange the continents since my last geography class? I have a Scottie, a Westie and a Dachshund and I’m pretty sure they originated in Scotland, Ireland and Germany. I’d open the door for them to go out and they’d take one look at the snow and ice and run hide. This meant I would have to bundle up, pick them up, teeter down off the deck and coax them to tend to business. More than once I slipped and landed face down in the snow while the dogs beat it back in the house. I guess it happened often enough the neighbors began watching from their respective porches and proceeded to hold up score cards judging my technique and form for each face plant in the snow. Rest assured I responded in kind with a little sign language of my own…pointed in their direction.

I tell you. When it comes to suffering, I’m right up there with Elizabeth Taylor (OK. I’m borrowing a line from STEEL MAGNOLIAS when Truvy makes this observation, but it’s the truth!).

Finally, a teeny speck of sun peeked through the skies onto my own little Antartica. I ushered the minions out the door and declared they would not get back in the house until they had been freed of their evil possessions.

Life is what happens when you’ve made other plans. I heard Diane Sawyer say today that life is not the beginning date or the ending date on your tombstone, but it’s about the dash in between. It’s part of our journey. It’s remembering that for every bad day or misfortune we encounter that are many more good things waiting to happen to us. We just have to continue on the journey and look earnestly for the good in everyone and everything and have our hearts open to receive every good thing that comes our way,

There’s a gospel song that says, “The Lord knows I can’t always live on a mountain, so he picked out a valley for me.”

Just between you and me, I’m asking for more beach time. The next clear day that comes I’m headed to Tybee even if I have to put on a pair of cross country skis and latch on to the bumper of a passing all wheel drive vehicle headed towards Savannah!

Come on! It’s Cottage Cheese!